


Deck the Halls (And the Hallmarks)

by Bleepboopbloorp



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Snow, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleepboopbloorp/pseuds/Bleepboopbloorp
Summary: It's that time of the year- time for Remus and Janus' annual winter prank! But when Janus decides that they'll be going all out this year, how will the two go about setting up a real life Home Alone bandits scene?OrJanus and Remus prank the shit out of their friends
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Sanders Sides 2020 Gift Exchange





	Deck the Halls (And the Hallmarks)

"No."

"But-"

"No. Absolutely not."

Remus huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You're no fun, you know that?" 

"Remus, we cannot pour hot chocolate down Roman and Virgil's coats. They will kill us. Patton will scold us, Logan will lecture us. So as fun as that idea sounds, it will have to wait until another time," Janus said, rolling his eyes. 

"Buuuzkiiill," Remus said in a sing song voice. He unwrapped a candy cane, tossing it in the air and ripping his head back, catching it between his teeth. "Beshides, dos wub birds hab it comin' anyway. 'Ere totawy disgustin'." Janus drug his hand down his face, lucky he was so used to his friend's antics to at least somewhat understand what he had said. He reached over to Remus, who's head was still facing straight up, breaking off the untouched hook of the candy cane. He plopped it into his mouth, Remus letting out an offended scoff beside him. 

"Cram it, idiot. Besides, I've got a much better idea."

At that, Remus popped up, spitting out out his candy cane into the snow. "No way, tell me!" 

Janus made a disgusted face, kicking the discarded piece of candy far away from the swing set they sat on. "Yes, dumbass. Now listen. Remus. Remus!"

Remus jumped up, somehow laying on his stomach and swinging back and forth. He sat back on the swing, leaning forward towards Janus. 

"Alright, now, I know you've seen the Home Alone movies-" 

"Yeah, like, only a million bajillion times!" 

"-So I know that you know how the bandits get absolutely wrecked by Kevin-" 

"Best part of the movies, obviously."

"-And that's what we're going to do-" 

"To the gang?" 

Janus reached over, shoving Remus off of the swing. "Let me finish, asshole. Yes, to the gang. We're going all out this year. Snowballs, sleds, glitter, everything. Our annual pranks are amazing, don't get me wrong, but this? This is going to take the cake as the best Christmas prank we've done so far," Janus smirked, proud of himself. 

"Does this mean I get to electrocute Roman?" Remus asked with a wild grin.

"As hilarious as that would be, no. But I will let you plan out most of the pranks for him."

"Epiccc!"

"Now, let's get started. We only have three weeks until Christmas Break, and we need to make this as big as possible." 

~~~ 

A week later, and they had the plans all written out on paper. Janus tackled all of the precise, logical aspects, while Remus, of course, worked on all of the creative components. In the end, they had made a plan filled to the brim with a series of pulleys, slides, snow, glitter, and, somehow, even maple syrup (Remus's idea, of course.)

"Alright, let's go over this one more time. We'll make adjustments later if needed," Janus said pulling out the sheet of notes. 

(Sheet of notes)

Operation: Home Alone 

Supplies:

Sled

Snow (tons)

5 pounds of glitter 

2 bottles or maple syrup

2 pulleys 

A lever (PULL THE LEVER KRONK!) (WRONG LEVER!!!) (shut up Remus)

Plastic slide

Skateboard 

3 packs of Christmas lights (battery operated)

A snowman (HUGE)

A top hat

DIY snowball gun

Speakers 

A bucket 

Ropes

Money (for apology hot cocoa)

(End of notes sheet)

"That all seems about right, right?" 

"Yeah sounds good to me," Remus said with a short nod. "Have you been saving up your work money and shit?" 

"Yup. I think I got plenty. You?" Janus asked. 

"Yuparoo! Weaseled my mom to give me twenty bucks, too!" 

"Damn, how'd you manage that?" Janus was definitely skeptical. Roman and Remus's mom was loaded, sure, but she was usually smarter than to fuel the twins' antics, especially something like this. That's why she made Remus get a job in the first place. If it was his money, he would be responsible for whatever weird shit he decided to buy. It usually worked out well for him, though, so much so that he was able to restore their old shed into a small woodshop. Roman, however, didn't have time for a job, what with all of the school musicals he was always rehearsing for. And when there wasn't a play going on, he was in after school clubs or hanging out with Virgil. Which was great for Remus, because he always got something in return for spotting Roman cash. 

"Told her it was for Roman's Christmas gift," Remus grinned heavily. Ah, of course he did. No way his mom would help him out if she knew what was really going on.

"Nice job, man," Janus laughed. "Well, I was able to earn some extra tips at coffee shop. 

"No way! How?" Remus asked with wide eyes. 

"Told some of those jokes you taught me. Apparently customers really dig them, despite how absolutely dumb they are." 

"Hey, I told you it would work! Remus reached over to punch Janus's shoulder, making Janus let out a little chuckle. "Might even get you a few numbers," he winked. 

"Haha, very funny. Now come on, we got work to do."

~~~

Three stores. They went to three stores to get the supplies they needed, and managed to get kicked out of. Every. Single. One. 

"Alright, alright, okay. Okay, this is the last store we're going to be able to get the stuff. Let's keep it serious," Remus giggled, trying to keep a straight face as they walked through the parking lot. Janus nodded, stifling one last laugh as they entered the Home Depot. 

As soon as they got to the wood section, Remus managed to drop a large plank of wood on top of himself as he reached above his head to grab it off of the shelf, causing the two to break out into laughter. When they saw an employee coming to them a few aisles away, they made a run for it, sprinting to the other half of the store. As soon as they were hidden away in a small corner, they hunched over, clutching their stomachs as they tried to calm down. This was going to be one long supply run. 

~~~ 

Four days later, and the two finally had days off of work. They took all of the hidden supplies from Janus's room to Remus's shed, where they regularly worked on plans and contraptions of the sort. Luckily, Roman has theatre practice that day, Virgil and Patton tagging along, and Logan had to watch his younger siblings. That left Janus and Renus at least six hours to accomplish as much work as possible. Janus let Remus take control of building the lever and pulleys, while he put together the PVC pipe gun and assembled the plastic slide. They worked mostly in silence, only a few requests and comments here and there, until they heard Roman's car pulling into the driveway. They were quick to hide everything before stepping out, Remus locking the shed and taking the key with him so Roman had no way of entry. Janus said a quick hello to Roman and Virgil before hopping into the passenger seat of Remus's car to ride home. 

~~~ 

Another four days, and they got together to finish assembling everything. The next day, they told the gang to meet them at the small park hidden in the outskirts of town, making sure that they were all free for the first day of winter break. Luckily, there was no theatre rehearsal, everyone had off work, and Logan didn't have to babysit his two younger siblings. Perfect. That gave them exactly six days. Five days to go over any imperfections. The last day, they would spend setting everything up. The gang would meet up at noon the next day, and everything would be ready to go. The entire plan, however, would take hours to set up, and Janus and Remus would have to meet up much earlier to get it all set up. 

They had snuck out to hang out many times before. Remus would ride over to Janus's house to pick him up at one in the morning, everything already hidden in his car a few days prior. Thank god for large trunks and tinted windows, or they would have been caught so close to the finish. 

~~~

Janus saw the car lights and the familiar black of Remus's car pulling up in front of his house at exactly one am. Ever so punctual for his pranks, Remus's time accuracy was just another pro to their devious plan. 

Janus slid open his window, leaving it open enough for him to slip back in in a few hours. He pulled out the scarf he stuffed into his pocket, holding it tight in his hands. In a way oh so familiar, he stood straight up, shimmying to end of his house, staring straight at the old tree. Grabbing onto a branch, he climbed to the middle of the tree, wrapping the scarf around it. He grabbed an end with each hand, planting his feet against the trunk and sliding all the way down to the stump. He grinned proudly to himself before pinning the scarf under a heavy rock for later, quietly running to the front of the house. He opened Remus's car door, sliding into the passenger seat with ease. 

"Hey Jan Man!" Remus grinned. "Coffee?" He held out a white cardboard cup that was steaming from the top. Janus grabbed it while he shut the car door, smiling kindly and buckling his seatbelt. 

"Thanks, Rem," he said, taking a long sip. Good thing Remus was always well prepared. Remus looked like he had already had had three cups himself, but that was just Remus being Remus. 

Remus put the car in drive, taking the wheel and quickly driving off. 

"What would I do without you, man?" Janus asked gratefully, already almost finished with his first cup of coffee. 

"Crash and burn," Remus declared, smiling wide as he handed Janus a second cup. 

"Damn right," he said, taking a sip. 

They spent the car ride talking about miscellaneous things, Janus's job at the coffee shop, Remus's job at the mechanic shop, school, Christmas gifts. After twenty minutes of comfortable but giddy driving, they pulled up to the park, Remus deciding to park the car in the snow covered grass rather than the street. Everything was covered in thick blankets of white, powdery snow, the park clearly unused for a few days. Perfect. 

The two hopped out of the car, walking around to the back to grab everything. They carried the boxes of supplies to their designated spots. They had made sure to drive past the park on their way home from The Home Depot the other day to make quick work of where everything would be placed. Janus placed the two pulleys at the top of a hill by two trees, the sled a little bit aways. He climbed up the one tree, rope in hand, placing it over the highest, sturdiest branch he could. He tested it, then slid back down, attaching the rope to the end of the sled. He repeated the process at the other tree, this time tying the rope to the front of the sled. Remus came over and they tested the contraption. The sled went up in the air, before falling and starting to slide when they let go of the ropes. They quickly pulled it back up, covering it and the ropes with a thin layer of snow. 

While Janus was attaching the pulleys, Remus has expertly placed the skateboard further away atop the hill, the plastic slide hidden directly underneath it in the snow. As soon as someone sat on the skateboard, it would slip down the slide, flying fast and into the air. 

Next, Remus sat the lever off to the side of the middle of the hill where the skateboard would ultimately ride by. He pulled a rope of the tree just like the pulleys, except this one was attached to the bucket. Then, he poured all of the syrup slowly into the bucket. When he was done, he slowly pulled the rope up, setting the bucket atop a branch. 

Even farther down, Janus placed a five pound bag of glitter, opening the top slowly and carefully so that it didn't fall over. 

Together, the two built a very, VERY large snowman at the bottom of the hill where the sled would land. It was huge, but they managed to throw the top hat on top of its head. Back in the middle of the hill, they threw a few battery operated string of Christmas lights into a tree, unstable enough that when hit with a snowball, they would most definitely come toppling down. Speaking of snowballs, they made a pile of twenty and hid them behind a tree far from where the sled and skateboard would land. They placed the PVC snowball gun beside it. They made one more snowball, placing it underneath the Christmas lights in the tree. Lastly, they went back, covering as much as they could with snow, making sure everything was hidden well enough. 

"Wait, is that everything?" Remus asked, looking around. Not much was visible besides the huge snowman, but they could just blame that on little kids if asked. If you didn't know where to look, then the ropes up in the tree weren't able to be seen. 

"I think so," Janus murmed, a smile growing bigger and bigger on his face. It took a lot of time and a lot of work, but it was well worth it to see everything in place and ready. 

"Good job, man," Remus said, holding his hand up in the air. Janus smacked it, giving a small tug on his arm. They came together in a tight hug, laughing into each other. When they pulled back, Janus smiled at Remus before pulling out his phone to check the time. 4:20am. 

"Blaze it," they said in unison, laughing. 

"Alright, let's get going before someone notices we're missing," Remus said. They walked back to the car, throwing and chucking a few snowballs at each other before finally slipping in and driving home. They couldn't wait for the next day to come. 

~~~

The two decided to meet up early, arriving at the park twenty minutes before noon. No one had been to the park since then, so everything was still as it was from a few hours prior, untouched and out of sight. 

"I'm so excited!" Janus practically squealed, a large smile plastered on his face.

"Me too," Remus was equally as excited. That's when they spotted the gang walking up. They shot each other one last giddy glance before walking over to meet the other four. They made sure to hurry up in case any of them stumbled upon one of the traps. 

"Hey guys!" Patton shouted, waving to them. 

"Hey, Pattycake! 'Sup Scooby Gang," Remus greeted while Janus waved to all of them. 

"You two are here early," Roman suspiciously eyed the two. "What are you guys up to now?"

"Hey it's not my fault I can't count!" Remus remarked defensively. 

"Yeah, y'all are definitely up to something" Virgil said with a small smile. 

"Agreed." Logan looked around, trying to spot whatever it was they had going on. Janus and Remus worriedly glanced at each other, silently begging the other to come up with a distraction. 

"Uh- hey! Guys! I had a dream about the Rock and a unicorn in a trampoline park last night!" Remus declared proudly with a gummy smile. That caught Logan's attention, along with everyone else's. 

"Yeah, I'm not surprised," Logan said as he playfully rolled his eyes, Janus and Remus's suspicious antics long forgotten. 

Janus leaned over to Remus while everyone else talked. "Was that off of the top of your head or did that really happen?" He asked. 

"Half and half," he winked. Janus chuckled quietly, shaking his head. 

"So, uh, guys," Janus said, once again grabbing everyone's attention. "Come here, I want to show you guys something cool I learned." Everyone started following Janus, but when they got to the top of the hill, Remus tugged Roman's arm and brought him over to the unseen skateboard. 

"Nuh uh, you come with me. You have to sit over here for this one," Remus explained. Roman huffed, rolling his eyes. 

"Whatever, trash man." 

Remus got Roman to sit slowly on top of the skateboard, telling him to not move an inch. 

"If my ass gets soaked, I'm telling mom it's your fault," Roman shouted over his shoulder at Remus who was now walking over to the tree opposite of Janus. 

"Yeah, yeah. Now shush, loser." 

Meanwhile, the others were already sitting unknowingly on the sled. Janus and Remus grinned at each other, giving the other a nod. 

"Alright, ready?" Janus asked. Everyone said yeah, and Janus started the countdown. 

"Threeeee…" He said, drawing the number out for suspense. 

"Three what?" Patton asked. 

"Twooooo…" Remus continued. 

"Two?" Virgil questioned. 

"ONE!!" Janus and Remus yelled in unison. At exactly the same time, they tugged on the ropes, the sled revealing itself as it was tugged into the air. The three seated on top of it all let out startled shrieks that were soon cut short as Janus and Remus let the ropes go. The sled slowly started it's way down the hill, quickly catching speed as Virgil, Logan and Patton all gripped onto it for dear life. As soon as they had dropped the ropes, Janus and Remus ran to their respective sides of the hill. 

When Roman had seen the sled going down, he turned his body to watch with a laugh, only to be met with horror as he started slipping down the hill. He clutched to the now revealed skateboard, letting out a long scream all the way down the slide. Even better, his scream picked up when he was flung into the air from the lip of the slide. Even better, as Remus ran as fast as he could to the lever, he could see that Roman's eyes were comically wide as he was flying up and crashing down into the snow. He looked like a cartoon character, and Remus was laughing hysterically, wishing he could capture the sight to keep forever. 

Finally, Roman was nearing the middle of the hill, and Remus pulled the lever right in time. Just as he did, he could hear Janus screaming "PULL THE LEVER, KRONK!!!" From the other side of the hill. If the sight of Roman flying through the air made Remus loose his breath laughing, then the sigh of him being covered in a bucket load of maple syrup was enough to practically hospitalize him. Remus made sure to yell "WRONG LEVER!!!!!" Back to Janus as best as he could with how much he was laughing, making his way down the hill once again. 

While Roman was being dunked in syrup, the group was still screaming (Music to Janus's ears, really) and they were approaching the giant snowman. Janus ran to the other side of the snowman, just in time to the group smack right into it face first. When they emerged, their faces were covered completely in the sticky, powdery snow. They all opened their eyes, the only thing discernible now on their faces. Janus was delighted in how wide their eyes managed to open. He almost buckled over in laughter as the snowman came crashing down, causing snow to keep falling on them, even down their jackets. "ITS SO COOOOOOLD!!!" Patton screeched as they all reflexively arched their backs. Janus, despite his wheezing and laughing, made it to the tree just in time. He picked up the snowball, perfectly compact and ready to toss. As soon as they made it to the middle of the hill, he launched it up at the tree, effectively knocking the lights onto the three. They wrapped around all of them, sticking to their snow-plastered jackets. The lights blinked bright and colorful, an utterly hilarious contrast to the looks of terror on each of their faces. 

Back over with Remus and Roman, Remus waited in delight at the very bottom of the hill. He hoisted the big bag of pink and gold glitter into his arms. Roman saw him halfway down, but couldn't do anything to escape in time, what with the syrup making him practically super glued to the sled. Remus gave a huge, evil grin and he could even see Roman mouthing silent yell "Fuck you!" To him, which only made his smile grow. And, oh boy, the look on Roman's face when he got to the bottom. Purely hilarious. Remus almost wished he had a camera to catch the look of defeat on Roman's face. His eyes squeezed shut, his mouth sealed shut as he tucked his face into his chest as much as possible. 

Remus, with as much power as he could possibly possess, launched all of the glitter directly over Roman, laughing at the loud shriek he let out. 

And, finally, Janus picked up the snowball gun, loading it with tightly packed snowballs and shutting them at Logan, Patton and Virgil. Remus couldn't help himself, and he picked up a few snowballs to chuck at them too. They all let out startled gasps and screams, trying to dodge the snowballs and failing miserably. 

Finally, the sled and skateboard stopped, Roman rolling off of his , the other three crashing and off of the sled and into the snow. 

Remus and Janus spent a good five minutes, bent over, clutching their stomachs, occasionally throwing their heads back to howl with laughter. When they were finally done, they noticed the others laughing too. They all stood up, standing together in a group, looking back at all the chaos. 

"What the hell, guys?" Logan asked. 

"Yeah, how the fuck did you manage to do all of this?" Virgil chuckled. 

"Long, long story," Janus giggled. 

"Well played, boys," Patton laughed. "Okay, yeah, uh, quick question," Roman said, looking down at himself. "Why am I covered in syrup and glitter and they're covered in snow and lights?" 

"Uh, duh," Remus giggled, motioning up and down himself. "Me, dumbass." 

"Oh, you little BITCH!" Roman yelled. "Get over here!" Remus screeched at the top of his lungs, sprinting away as Roman chased him, arms wide open, trying to cover his twin is syrup and glitter too. Everyone else laughed, taking in the chaotic scene and everything that had just happened.

Best. Christmas. Prank. Ever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you enjoyed! And happy holidays! :)


End file.
